Tuesday, June 23, 2015

Eating My Words

So I've eaten a lot of words in my 2 1/2 years of Mommyhood.  Before I was a mother, I would look at kids acting out in the grocery store and think "that Mama needs to straighten them out."  Once I became pregnant with my first, (Oh yeah, I'm due with my second in 4 days!!) and I planned and prepared to breastfeed, I got a complex about it.  I couldn't understand why people wouldn't at least try.  I mean, it was free and natural, and better for your baby.  I could go on and on about all the things I thought I knew.  And even just sitting here typing these things, I'm blushing at how judgmental I was.

So here goes... all the words I've eaten already as a Mom... and it's only been 2 1/2 years and through 1 kid!

1.  It's not always the Mama's fault when your kid is acting up in the store.  You can train them and give them choices and schedule your day "correctly", but still sometimes fits happen.  And I have a very calm, rule-following kid. (Although those "terrible 2s have started- just in time for #2!)  Just Saturday, we were looking at the mall for some things for the hubs for fathers day.  I had him go with us so he could try some clothes on and because I had NOTHING for him.  Funny how lax I am now... But anyway, I'm trying to get C to look at the mannequins and count their golf clubs and anything I can think of to keep him interested.  And feeling like I'm doing a pretty good job.  After all, the sales lady basically complimented my parenting by telling me about another kid who acted out earlier and mine wasn't.  Ha!!!  Not 10 minutes later, C decides to lay down on the Belk floor over not being able to go up the escalator.  I did my countdown from 5 and he still lay there.  I told him "Ok, see ya later and pretended to walk away."  By now, the hubs came over and told him firmly "get up!"  Didn't work.  So we grabbed him up and told him he would not go on it unless he stopped that right now.  It worked, but how bout when we got on the escalator, he started another one, because apparently that wasn't what he wanted.  Needless to say, I don't judge you parrents of kids whose kids choose to act out in public.  And I hope you don't judge me either.  Sometimes we all have off days, and as discouraged as I am sometimes, I'm not going to be a hermit.  So I am trying to learn through it.

2.  Breastfeeding is once choice of many.  It's funny how before I had my first child I just new I'd breastfeed for a full 12 months.  I'd be at home with him, so I'd just get him on a schedule and we'd go out when he wouldn't need to eat.  And anyway, I'd make it work because we needed to save the money.  Well... I only made it about 6 months.  And I willed myself to make it that long.  (See my posts through my struggle: What Nobody Tells You About Breastfeeding & Learning to Fall And Get Back UP)  I do not judge in the least when people don't breastfeed, or they don't do it long.  And I don't hate the ones who commit and are successful for a full 12 months.

3.  Vans are made for families.  Never would I have ever thought I'd drive a van.  It was like taboo in my family growing up.  And I just thought they were the ugliest cars you could drive.  There was no way I would every drive one.  Well... it came time that my Jetta that I had driven since I graduated High School just wasn't cutting it.  C's legs would stick through to the console and there was no way in H-E-Double Hockey Sticks that I would be able to fit another car seat in for baby # 2.  We began looking at SUVs.  I really liked the 4Runner and Highlander, but I realized that once that 3rd row was up, there was NO ROOM in the back for traveling.  My husband told me to at least consider vans.  He knew how much hate I had for them, but I told him I'd look.

I loved how the kids in the carpool line at school could just climb right up and the Mama could just press the door button open and closed.  I loved the space they provided.  I loved the fact that I wouldn't have to break my back to get the kids in there.  And that we could all be comfortable.  And I figured those 5+ hour trips back to the Carolinas to see our family wouldn't be near as bad in one of those (cue the shudder & heeby jeebies) vans.  And besides, they were better in gas mileage than something like a Suburban (which we couldn't afford anyway).  Fast forward to about week 30 of pregnancy #2, and we are now *proud* owners of a van.
4.  I'm not going to be the perfect, Pinteresting, blogging, working, chef Mom.  You know, that mom.  The one who has it all together.  Well I tried that.  It didn't work.  I stressed myself out in the first year of my child's life to try to be the best at everything and to do it all.  I wanted to keep up my blog. (Notice I my last post was over a year ago).  I wanted to have a beautiful & organized home, just like on pinterest. (I'm lucky if the dishes are washed and we all have a clean pair of underwear, pants, and shirt to put on many days).  I wanted to have dinner on the table every night, and for them to be yummy and not mediocre. (These days, Costco's freezer section is where it's at!  I promised the hubs I'd cook homemade Chicken Divan tonight, because I know he's tired of it!  Just need him to pick up some broccoli on his way home ;) )  I was going to know exactly what my child should be doing at what month and what teeth should come in. (Oh, that's right because every child who cut his tooth early has obviously grown up to be a successful person!)  

STOP THE MADNESS!!!!! (As Mr. Wonderful says on Shark Tank)

It's all just a bunch of fiddle faddle that the devil lures us into so that we never feel adequate.  I'm not saying I don't fall back into this sometimes here and there, but I am finding out that the days are long, but the years are short. And 5 and 10 years from now, none of that stuff is going to matter.  What will matter is how I spent my time singing the Bible School "Journey Off the Mat" song a million times with my son or got in the wading pool with him in the back yard.  Or how I remembered to make time for the Lord (while Mickey's on in the background).  Or how I rubbed my hubby's neck when his head was pounding. 

*** I will try to update this as I reflect.  I am learning everyday.  And I will never be the perfect mother.  I will never be the perfect wife.  But I can do the best that I can, one day at a time.  And try to focus on what I know will be important to me years down the road. 

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