Tuesday, December 18, 2012

The Best Christmas Present Ever

     So I went to the Doctor for my normal weekly appointment and brought the hubs along because I was figuring on being let down and the Doc saying that I hadn't progressed any, just like the past couple of visits.  And with Crosby due to arrive Friday, I really wanted to try to get a game plan together.

     As expected, I hadn't progressed any and I was really thankful that my caring husband was there to speak on my behalf.  I started tearing up the moment I heard the news.  You would think I was expecting to hear "no change" just like the previous weeks, but it just had me feeling at the end of my rope.  Knowing my due date was Friday and I wanted to have Crosby naturally so that I could experience meeting him for the first time, this just wasn't jiving.  The doctor went through the possibilities with us and understood that we wanted some advice on what to do.  He discussed that induction really wasn't an option.  He said that if I were his wife that he wouldn't want me doing that because the fact that I wasn't dilated at the least would mean a long, hard labor.  And without the possibility of an epidural, it wouldn't be a good experience - so one option off the table.  The next option was to wait a week after my due date (10 days from today) and see if I went into labor naturally.  If I didn't, a C-Section would be scheduled.  The third option was to just go ahead and schedule a C-Section this week.

     If you had asked me at the beginning of my pregnancy if I would have a C-section, I would have said "No!"  There is a certain pride of having a baby naturally and the experience that comes along with it that I always thought I'd have.  No, I wouldn't have an epidural (because of my spinal fusion), but I had known that for years and have psyched myself up for that.  Also my Mom had me and all 3 of my sisters totally natural, so I know I could do it.  But the next part of the story is where my mind slowly began to change.

     The doctor suggested we do an ultrasound to try and see why the Cros was seemingly refusing to drop, so we agreed to it.  I was nervous at first, but when we got to see him, it was really exciting!  We hadn't seen him since before the gender reveal party at the end of July, when I was 18 weeks preggo.  He was so big!  His head measured a week ahead of schedule and his little tummy was as round as a basketball (much like Mommy's) and measured 2 weeks ahead!  His sweet little lips were puckered out and we learned that he has a good bit of hair, which is not how either of us had been imagining him.  After the measurements were taken, the ultrasound tech estimated that he weighed 9lbs 4 oz.  We couldn't believe it!  She did say that if we had done the ultrasound 2 weeks ago, it would have been much more accurate, down to the ounce.  But since it's so late in the game, it's hard to get an accurate reading with his bones being so dense and him filling out more.  That said, she said she could be off by a pound.  Even still, that means 3 days before his due date, he's at least 8 lb 4 oz!  That's a big boy!

     Knowing all of this, we were sent back to the doc to meet for a quick second.  He said that we could decide to schedule a C-sec this week or next, and that it was up to us.  We looked at each other, not knowing what to decide when he recommended to go get some lunch and talk about it, and then call and schedule.  So we did just that.  We went to Jason's Deli, I pulled out my pad of paper, and began to write.  We first wrote all of the info we had gotten from the ultrasound and then we explored our 2 options.  With a C-Section, there were risks, I would be asleep since there's not an epidural option so the experience would be different, we'd have an extra day in the hospital, and in the end it would cost more.  By waiting another week to see what happened, there would be a possibility of a natural labor, but by then Crosby would be in the 9lb 4oz - 10lb 4oz range.  And even if I did start to finally dilate sometime in the next 10 days, there's a good chance I'd end up with a C-.section anyway.  Not to mention, selfishly I'm really getting uncomfortable and we both would really like him to be here for Christmas.

     So, I'm sure you've caught on by now that the girl who wouldn't have had a C-section unless absolutely necessary early in the pregnancy has changed her mind.  With all of the circumstances taken into account, the hubs and I both feel comfortable with the C-section we scheduled today for Saturday morning.  We can't wait to meet our big boy and to become a family of three!  What a wonderful Christmas this will be... to be able to bring our sweet baby boy home on Christmas day!

{Sometimes, life's not what you'd expect.  But knowing that God's looking down on us and had his plan long before I had mine, I find comfort in that.  So maybe this isn't how I had it pictured exactly, but God knew all along.}


  1. Hi! Oh, this is exciting. You are so close to meeting your baby! My daughter just turned 2 yesterday and my son will turn 4 on Thursday. December babies are awesome :D.

    It sounds like you are so ready to meet your sweet little boy, and who could blame you?

    I know the last days/weeks of pregnancy are an emotional roller coaster. When will you go into labor? What will it be like? Etc.

    But please -- stay the course. I want to really encourage you to go for a natural, vaginal birth and I'm going to try to make my case.

    1. Your baby might not be nearly that big. Ultrasounds are notoriously off in weight. My second born, by late ultrasound and by the doctors palpitating my belly, guessed she'd maybe be 6 lbs, if that. My girl was 8 lbs. and fat and squishy as could be, and I was so proud! Had no trouble pushing her out, and no tears. Mamas don't grow babies bigger than they can birth. And fat babies squish :D.

    2. A c-section is a really big deal. I understand you'd need to be unconscious for the birth of your son. That is a very hard thing to deal with, and I'm wondering if you might regret that later. It could cause some emotional and physical distress. You'll want to hear his first cry, in that moment. You'll want to see him with your own eyes, not a video or picture.

    3. Do you want more children? VBACs can happen, but they are risky and not all doctors will "allow" them. Choosing a c-section now could create complications for becoming pregnant, and giving birth next time.

    4. Breastfeeding. If you're intending to breastfeed, the c-section and anesthesia could make it harder at first :/

    Also -- if you're not actually in labor, the condition of your cervix doesn't tell anything except what your cervix is doing at that particular moment. It CANNOT predict when labor will begin. It cannot tell you how much more time you'll have before the birth, once you're in active labor.

    You could seriously go from 0cm to pushing in a few hours.

    You don't need any more internal checks. In fact, insist against them. Your body will know what to do. Also, even if you are "only" 0-1cm dilated, if you've already had some contractions, your body is still doing important work -- effacing, shifting your baby further down, etc.

    It sounds like your mind is already made up. But please, give it another week. Is there really any harm waiting to let your body go into labor on it's own (because it really can!).

    I do understand not being sure about being home for Christmas. But whether you will be home, in the hospital, or with your newborn, Christmas will be great now and in the years to come.

    You can do this. Trust your body. Trust the Lord. And in the end, if you go for a c-section, then that's the choice you made and that's fine. Consider what you will say to yourself, two years from now, if that was the right call. Maybe it is. But please, slow it down and give your body a chance.

    I say this with all the love and encouragement of another December-baby mama. I hope it doesn't upset you.

  2. One other thing I was thinking about (and also, please know I am praying for you to have a beautiful, peaceful birth...whatever that may look like!) --

    it helped me stay focused as I waited for my babies' birthdates to show up by making a list of all the reasons why I wanted a natural birth. It helped me to make that list and remind myself why I was going for it. I thought I'd share that with you in case you found it helpful to do that exercise yourself.

    Also -- this time of year especially -- it's kind of fun to think about what it was like for Mary, riding on the donkey and in labor. She gave birth to our Savior in a stable. (!!!) Thinking about the details of that is so humbling, and it makes Christmas for the pregnant mama/newborn phase even more special!

  3. I love reading your blogs!! I think I'm taking off Friday so I can come on down and not get there too late...will that be okay with you and Kirk?

    Love you all!